So in my last post I mentioned that I was suffering from depression, so I guess I'll start there - where I left off - and give you the low down. Ever since my teenage years, I think I have suffered with different bouts of depression. I didn't really realize it was depression when I was younger and therefore dealt with it in ways I now wish I could take back. Once Jason and I got married, I just attributed it to early years of marriage. While living in Utah I kept "blaming" the newlywededness (if that's even a word), but saw many different counselors for my own depression. I was even at one point diagnosed with "a flare of OCD" and was put on Prozac. The doctor did say that a lot of people tend to have "flares of OCD," so I thought my "flare" to be trivial and just laughed it off. I took the medication, but after I started feeling better I took myself off of the medication (without Dr. consent) thinking that it was only masking the "real" issue - you know, the newlywededness. ;o) While off the medication, I was convinced that it wasn't a ME problem, but that it was a WE problem! Long story short, I finally realized, through lots of reading (check out the chapter 17 of The Ultimate Career, by Daryl Hoole) and research...and time, that it IS mostly a me problem and that taking medication for this illness/problem/disease (which ever category you like) isn't really a bad thing. In fact it's no more different than someone who has epilepsy or heartburn and takes medication to help stifle the symptoms.
Since Abby was born, I have been seeing a psychiatrist who agreed that I do have OCD tendencies and that I also have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and am now on Lexapro. This has made a huge improvement and plan to continue taking this medication as long as it keeps my "flares" in check.
All this new knowledge on top of having a new baby and what I believe to be the hardest stages of parenthood.
Wooh! Now on with the more fun, less depressing stuff!!
4 comments:
Welcome back! I am glad you have found something that works for you. If you ever need anything, you can always call! :-) Love ya!
I am glad you are back, and feeling more like yourself!
Wow, thanks for sharing. I'm sure it wasn't easy. I am so proud that you are getting help. It is such a real thing! I have a lot of family and friends who have been in the same boat. Good luck with everything and I'm glad I get to read your posts again! Take care!
I commend you Shauntel for being open about this. My depression has always been a "Me" problem and up until about three years ago, I blamed it on a lot of other things. I have been on an assortment of medications since my divorce in '03, but since my last trimester of pregnancy with Alayna, I have been taking Prozac and it has made a major difference. We all tend to go through bouts of depression, but as for me...I am one of those people who probably have to stay on it the rest of my life. And I'm okay with that. Glad to hear that you are feeling better and back to your old self. Remember you aren't alone in this. ;) It's great to read up on your family. I can't believe how BIG Abby has gotten! She looks a LOT like Isaac.
Love you, and if you are ever back in Utah, please let us know. We'd love to have you come stay and visit with us.
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